Ingram To Aquaman

In a prop bet the Sportsbooks are calling “Dumb and Dumber” flamboyant gambler, Bill Perkins has taken on professional Twitter account holder, Joe Ingram and bet him $5000 that he can’t hold his breath under water for a mile. At first, Joe was hesitant being much more acquainted to talking about gambling than actually partaking in it, but Perkins spiced things up by giving Ingram odds of 3:1.

Only after Joe signed the contract were the exact rules of the bet shown to him, which are as follows 1. Joe must swim for one mile. 2. Joe must swim underwater. 3. Joe must not use any kind of breathing apparatus. 4. Joe must not drown. 5. Joe can not call upon sea creatures for help.

Ingram is now reported to be in a state of panic, as he previously thought all he had to do was swim a mile out in the open sea, which would be easy for someone with no swimming skills. Only now does he realize the mammoth task he has taken on. “It’s going to be tougher than I thought, I’ve been practicing at swim meets at the local pool. Currently, I can hold my breath for a minute and five seconds. I’ve had to cut way back on the Jack Daniels, and I’m down to just a single pack of Marlboro a day. I’m not sure how much more my night life can suffer like this, my coach is saying I’ll have to cut out the rock candy completely for the whole month of September if I’m to stand a chance. There’s a lot of work involved, I have a new found respect for synchronized swimmers.”

Meanwhile on the other side of the fence, soon to be $5000 richer with possible future man slaughter charges against him Bill Perkins had this to say “I’ve really done my homework this time around, this isn’t going to be another Bilzerian Fiasco. It takes an average swimmer thirty minutes to swim a mile, and the average person can hold their breath for a minute and twenty seconds. This will be like drowning kittens in a barrel I’m laughing all the way to the bank”

A date has not been set yet but the deadline as Perkins is calling it is the end of September and then most likely Joe will be sleeping with the fishes.

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